[I know, I know, you're expecting more Eurafrica posts... Don't worry. They're coming! Just had to get this one in since it's already a week late.]
Our marriage is now FIVE years old. (Ah!) Metaphorically... we've made it to Kindergarten.
It sounds a little funny... so let me explain.
Picture a baby.
(perfect excuse to post a newborn photo of my sweet baby nephew)
July 11, 2008 - our marriage was "born." It was new. It was fragile. And it cried a lot. (Okay, I cried a lot.) It also needed a lot of extra attention, love and tender care.
Every year since then, it has grown... both stronger and wiser.
Now picture a 5-year-old.
Looks and acts quite a bit different than that little baby, huh?
Well that's because a lot changes in 5 years. So much is learned in that time... like how to communicate, how to understand, how to share, how to be patient, how to realize that the world doesn't revolve around you.
By age 5, we are certainly more advanced than our screaming, babbling, selfish newborn state, but compared to age 10, or 20, or 50... we definitely still have a loooooooong way to go.
That's how I feel about us right now.
We've come so far in the past 5 years. We're lucky that we've had the opportunity to enrich our relationship in so many different ways: graduating college together, traveling together, starting a business together... We've learned so much about life, love, marriage, and each other.
It's crazy after so many conversations and hundreds of hours spent trapped in a car together, we're still learning new things: like Husband was first chair in BAND...in high school. (cue giant belly laugh) I have nothing against people in band (lots of my good friends were in band), but when you've always pictured your husband as the "cool high school jock that occasionally made fun of kids in band" - you are a little bit shocked. I can't help but smile while typing this. Just can't get the images of Husband playing a euphonium out of my head. Hah. Moving on...
I'm not going to lie: marriage. is. hard. But I realized one thing that makes it a whole lot easier: the constant reminder that there's no way out. It's a forever thing. Whether you're angry, frustrated, disappointed, hurt, offended, appalled, disgusted, irate, depressed (and trust me, I've been all these things)... it doesn't matter. You're gonna work it out. Eventually you'll forgive each other. Because divorce is not an option.
The other day, I overheard a lady talking to the receptionist at the dentist office. They were discussing their marriages and upcoming anniversaries. "25 years!" she said with a smile. "Oh, how wonderful! It's 31 for us," the receptionist responded. "Yeah, it's sad that marriages aren't what they used to be. It doesn't mean anything anymore," the patient said. A few minutes later I heard her add, "I've considered murder plenty of times, but never divorce!"
Bahahah.
Can I get an amen? If that rings a bell for you, please also enjoy this hilarious video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G68FYzRkt80
Ohhhhh, marriage. So many emotions. So many challenges.
But at the end of the day, when I get a high-five/fist-pump for working extra hard, or an impromptu date-night for McDonald's ice cream cones, or a butt-hug that sweeps me off my feet... I am filled with so. much. joy. Oh, and the "in sickness and in health" thing really pays off too. [Especially when you come down with a case of the African flu and Husband carries your giant backpack for 3 days and feeds you crackers and Sprite in bed... but more on that escapade later.]
If I were the Bachelorette and he was a contestant, I'm not 100% sure I would choose him in the end... hah. But I sure do love him. And somehow I know we were meant for each other.
So far, Kindergarten is great fun! And I'm sure someday, the PhD life will be pretty great too.
Our marriage is now FIVE years old. (Ah!) Metaphorically... we've made it to Kindergarten.
It sounds a little funny... so let me explain.
Picture a baby.
(perfect excuse to post a newborn photo of my sweet baby nephew)
July 11, 2008 - our marriage was "born." It was new. It was fragile. And it cried a lot. (Okay, I cried a lot.) It also needed a lot of extra attention, love and tender care.
Every year since then, it has grown... both stronger and wiser.
Now picture a 5-year-old.
Looks and acts quite a bit different than that little baby, huh?
Well that's because a lot changes in 5 years. So much is learned in that time... like how to communicate, how to understand, how to share, how to be patient, how to realize that the world doesn't revolve around you.
By age 5, we are certainly more advanced than our screaming, babbling, selfish newborn state, but compared to age 10, or 20, or 50... we definitely still have a loooooooong way to go.
That's how I feel about us right now.
We've come so far in the past 5 years. We're lucky that we've had the opportunity to enrich our relationship in so many different ways: graduating college together, traveling together, starting a business together... We've learned so much about life, love, marriage, and each other.
It's crazy after so many conversations and hundreds of hours spent trapped in a car together, we're still learning new things: like Husband was first chair in BAND...in high school. (cue giant belly laugh) I have nothing against people in band (lots of my good friends were in band), but when you've always pictured your husband as the "cool high school jock that occasionally made fun of kids in band" - you are a little bit shocked. I can't help but smile while typing this. Just can't get the images of Husband playing a euphonium out of my head. Hah. Moving on...
I'm not going to lie: marriage. is. hard. But I realized one thing that makes it a whole lot easier: the constant reminder that there's no way out. It's a forever thing. Whether you're angry, frustrated, disappointed, hurt, offended, appalled, disgusted, irate, depressed (and trust me, I've been all these things)... it doesn't matter. You're gonna work it out. Eventually you'll forgive each other. Because divorce is not an option.
The other day, I overheard a lady talking to the receptionist at the dentist office. They were discussing their marriages and upcoming anniversaries. "25 years!" she said with a smile. "Oh, how wonderful! It's 31 for us," the receptionist responded. "Yeah, it's sad that marriages aren't what they used to be. It doesn't mean anything anymore," the patient said. A few minutes later I heard her add, "I've considered murder plenty of times, but never divorce!"
Bahahah.
Can I get an amen? If that rings a bell for you, please also enjoy this hilarious video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G68FYzRkt80
Ohhhhh, marriage. So many emotions. So many challenges.
But at the end of the day, when I get a high-five/fist-pump for working extra hard, or an impromptu date-night for McDonald's ice cream cones, or a butt-hug that sweeps me off my feet... I am filled with so. much. joy. Oh, and the "in sickness and in health" thing really pays off too. [Especially when you come down with a case of the African flu and Husband carries your giant backpack for 3 days and feeds you crackers and Sprite in bed... but more on that escapade later.]
If I were the Bachelorette and he was a contestant, I'm not 100% sure I would choose him in the end... hah. But I sure do love him. And somehow I know we were meant for each other.
So far, Kindergarten is great fun! And I'm sure someday, the PhD life will be pretty great too.
happy 5-year anniversary! xoxo
I never thought of marriage "growing up" before. That's a cool way to look at it. And it definitely explains a lot.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on 5 years.