Christmas just slapped me across the face...

As the title of this post reads... Christmas just slapped me across the face. Hard. 

And I needed it.  

I LOVE this time of year. I begged and begged (and bribed) and finally talked Christopher into getting a Christmas tree! We have been married for almost 4.5 years and this is our FIRST tree. Sounds crazy... but we have always visited family from the beginning of December through New Years so we never really had the time or need to get our own tree. Last year, I went CRAZY on Christmas clearance and got a TON of pretty glittery, shiny ornaments for literally pennies. So I knew we HAD to have a tree. It brings me so much joy! And I think my Grinch of a husband actually loves it too. 

We already started making our Christmas lists and dropping hints here and there... (hunting stuff, boots, jackets, crafting stuff, etc., etc.) 

We strung lights around our front porch and sometimes I force the Grinch to listen to my nightly Christmas book stories that my mom read to me as a child. 

I listen to a variety of Christmas music at work, in the car, at home... often rockin' around the Christmas tree (quite literally). 

I was super excited to setup our nativity scene (for the first time!) And I love singing Christmas carols, and we even went caroling at a local nursing home. 

We baked tons of yummy Christmas cookies and shared them with friends and neighbors. 

I felt like I have fully been enjoying this Christmas season and in the back of my mind, reflecting on the true meaning of Christmas from time to time. 

But then it happened. 

I was invited to be part of an "Adopt-A-Family" Christmas project. Reading the story of this family brought tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. While I've been dancing around in my warm house, with my brightly decorated tree, my iPhone blaring Jingle Bells and dreaming about my Christmas list hanging on the fridge... another family has been struggling to pay bills, struggling to feed their family, struggling to keep warm on the cold winter nights. While I'm planning out the presents I want to buy people and the Christmas activities to accomplish, they're planning and praying about how to have any holiday at all. 

Christmas slapped me. And it stung. As I sat thinking about them, and all people in the world who are less fortunate than me...  I felt embarrassed and ashamed for how I had been acting. How selfish I had been... writing a list of the things I would love to unwrap on Christmas morning. Spending time thinking about all the things I want, but don't really need. I mean seriously... do I honestly need more boots? Do I need another North Face jacket because it will match my new blonde hair better? Do I need more clothes to stuff into a walk-in closet that is already overflowing and running out of hangers? 

These are rhetorical questions. Because obviously the answer is: wow, I have been disgustingly selfish and vain. I have been going through the motions of Christmas. I have been telling myself, of course I understand the "reason for the season" and the "true meaning of Christmas." But I haven't really been living it. 

Good thing it's not too late. 

I vigorously scratched off my Christmas list and decided that the focus of this Christmas will be about someone else. My family and friends joined together to participate in this project so that another family will wake up on Christmas morning to find a delivery of gift cards, money, packages and presents. Part of me wishes I could be a little invisible elf in the corner of that room - to see the looks on their faces, to see the joy (I hope) it will bring. But it's ok, because I can imagine it. And even just a glimpse of that in my mind brings me more happiness and excitement than any material gift ever could. 

This will become a tradition for us, that we will teach to our children... so I never have to endure that frigid slap from Christmas, ever again.