Lucy May | Birth Story

I'll start off by saying that when I ran the San Francisco Marathon in 2010, it was the hardest thing, physically, emotionally and mentally, that I had ever accomplished. I hated running long distances and following a strict schedule, so the training itself almost killed me. But I wanted to do it so I could challenge myself to do something I never thought was possible. So regardless of the pain, injuries and difficulty, I somehow forced myself to make it through.

Fast forward about 6 years and now I have an update. Giving birth without pain medicine / an epidural is most definitely the hardest thing I've ever done... physically, emotionally and mentally!

Yes, I have given birth once before, but I was induced at 41-weeks and didn't go into labor on my own. In fact, it took 24 hours of drugs just to force my body to do anything at all. So this time around took me completely by surprise. 

Since I was barely 38-weeks, I assumed I still had time. We had numerous house remodeling projects to finish, things to unpack and organize, the nursery was a mess... she couldn't come yet. Well clearly, baby girl had a mind of her own. 

In the afternoon on Tuesday, April 26 I felt a few random contractions. I assumed they were just Braxton Hicks and when I put Calvin down for a nap, I felt exhausted. I knew I had work to do, but decided to just lay down for a few minutes. Two hours later, I woke up to cramping. I wondered if this was labor?

I decided to try and finish up some laundry and start getting my hospital bag packed... just in case. The cramping continued. I laid back down to see if it would go away, thinking maybe this was still "false labor" as I had heard so many friends describe. But the cramping continued and seemed to be getting more frequent and more intense. I started to freak out a little and told Husband this might be it, but I was still in denial. This couldn't be it... we still needed these last two weeks to get ready. And I wanted a May baby!

I started Googling about how to time contractions, when to go to the hospital, how to know if they were real, etc. My doctor said to go when they lasted 1 minute and were 5 minutes apart. Mine only lasted 30 seconds, but were 3 minutes apart. So what does that even mean? It started to become difficult to talk during the cramps and I was getting really irritable whenever Husband would ask me any questions. It was about 6:30pm. This seemed like it might be a sign...?

I texted our friend that was supposed to watch Calvin and my mom who was 2 hours away. I then called my doctor but unfortunately her office was closed and I was forwarded to the "on-call" doctor who told me he didn't think this was the "real deal" and I should just wait a few more hours and they would probably go away. That's when things started to get intense. They no longer felt just like cramps. I started having to physically hold onto things and was quite... "vocal" about my pain. That's when I said, "We are going to the hospital!" I pointed to our bags and also yelled at Husband to grab the glue-gun and scissors because I hadn't finished her headbands or bows yet. The next contraction hit and I started screaming about how I couldn't wait for our friend to come and that he had to call the neighbor, like NOW.

Luckily, our friend down the street was able to rush over to watch Calvin and Chris FLEW to the hospital. As I was clenched to the seat / kicking the dashboard, I remember him saying, I bet this is the fastest this mini van has ever gone! (He later told me he wished the cops would have tried to pull us over so we could be in a police chase haha.)

In the craziness, we ended up forgetting my hospital bag (which WAS packed!) AND my camera. I was devastated that we wouldn't have nice pictures, but as the pain worsened, I knew it was too late and there wasn't time to turn around, unless I wanted to have this baby in the car! Husband called up another friend/photographer who said she was able to rush to meet us at the hospital and take pictures of the birth. I was so relieved!! 

When we got to the hospital, we left the van at the curb, all the doors open and all our stuff inside. For a split second I was worried about my purse being stolen... and then another contraction hit and I at that moment I didn't care what happened, I just wanted that baby OUT. The lady at the check-in desk was old... and way too calm for my current condition. She had zero sense of urgency and kept asking me endless, stupid questions and pecking on her keyboard one finger at a time. I was gripping my wheelchair, knees shaking uncontrollably, and screaming in pain... COULD SHE NOT TELL A BABY IS COMING OUT OF ME?!?! 

Finally we were wheeled into the evaluation room where they determined I was at a 7, maybe more but they weren't sure. Then I was transferred to the labor and delivery room, where they tried about 17 times to insert my IV. The nurse kept saying how nice my veins were, but yet for some reason she just kept re-poking me. Lucky for her, I restrained myself and did not stab her in the eye with her needle. (Yes, it seems that I get very violent when I'm in pain.)

At this point they asked if I had planned on an epidural. I almost said yes, but then remembered all my friends' stories about how theirs didn't work, or only worked on one side... and then the nurses said it would be over very, very soon if I didn't. I honestly had no birth plan, except that I wanted my baby girl here safely.

I must have been in some type of weird, hulk-woman mode, because I decided I had already been through this much pain and survived, so why not just go for it? It was the right decision because at my next check I was at a 9, so I probably wouldn't have had time for an epidural anyway. The doctor (who I had spoken with on the phone) walked in and said, "Well I guess it was the real deal!" ... I had no words. He was chuckling. I, however, was not. 

He then said he would break my water and after just a few more contractions, it would be time to push! Luckily, our friend/photographer walked in just in time to capture our baby girl entering the world. It was a whirlwind blur of pain, while attempting to channel my screaming into pushing and feeling "a lot of pressure" (as the eloquent doctor described it...) I would probably use different words but I'll keep it PG. I'm not 100% sure if my body was ready, but after two pushes, her head was out and on the third, she was born! It was 8:19pm on Tuesday, April 26, 2016. She weighed 7 pounds, 8 ounces and was 18.5" long.

To sum it all up...yes, it hurt like $!&*#$(*%! The pain was most definitely the worst I have ever felt in my life. But somehow, it was also the most amazing experience... to actually FEEL the relief as my baby exited my body. I was completely aware and in the moment... the first site of her tiny body, her beautiful dark hair, that first little squeak and then her healthy cry. I remember everything so clearly and vividly. I know because with Calvin, the memory was slightly dimmed, blurred and almost like I was floating or not totally present. (Probably a combination of all the drugs and 24 hours of no sleep or food.) But this time, I was there. I felt it all.

After Calvin's birth, I never thought I could be one of those "natural birth" moms. I admired them. In fact, I thought they were the toughest, most badass people on earth. I had no idea how they were able to do it. I assumed they were born with some type of high pain tolerance superpower or ability to hypnotize themselves as they sat in birthing pools, dreaming about their contractions like waves in the ocean. I thought it was something I would never be able to do.

But I'm here to say that I did it! That it is possible... even for someone who has never taken a birthing class, or read a "guide to natural birthing" book, and isn't even into doing things "the natural" way. I'm also lucky my husband was so patient and supportive! And he now thinks he is a professional doula... hah.

Maybe your birth story is similar to mine, or maybe you had an epidural or a C-section... But bringing a baby into the world is a scary, painful, difficult thing, regardless of how it happens. I will say though... now I understand when women say the recovery after a natural birth is so much easier! The ability to stand, bend and move, etc. was a gift. (Feeling the numbing needle, the stitches, and uterus checks, however, were NOT. During those moments, an epidural would have been quite nice.)

It took us the full 48-hours to determine what we wanted to name our sweet baby girl. We went through a big list of names which included Chris's list: Hunter, Charly, Abigail, Hayden, Peyton, Penelope and Lucy + my list: Lila, Lily, Lena & Lucy. So after much debate and the realization that there was only one name we both agreed on... it was official! And Lucy May just fit. I also love that Lucy is latin for "light." (And May is my grandma's name.)

The day Calvin came to meet his little sister, my heart completely melted. He was the sweetest and calmest I've ever seen him. He was so excited to see her, especially her tiny toes, ears, and hair. I was surprised that he even wanted to hold her. (I wasn't sure what to expect from a 2-year-old boy.) He was so gentle and hugged her, kissed her head and even tried to feed her his pizza. haha (It was a good time to explain that she only eats milk.) He only made her cry once when he went to give her a "big squeeze" which ended up being a little tight. When we brought her home from the hospital, I told him her name and asked if he could say it. (He usually hates to mimic us or repeat words we want him to say) But he responded "LuLu" and pointed at her as he smiled really big.

This has been one of the happiest times of our life! Although I know we have a lot of sleepless nights and difficult days ahead, I'm so grateful for our little family of four. I feel so lucky and blessed to call them mine.