For the First Time in My Life

I'm past the 7-month mark! (Technically 30 weeks now) And I'll admit... I am kind of obsessed with being pregnant.

I can't imagine anything in life being more magical or amazing or joyful. Part of me just wants to keep this baby inside me forever! (I'm sure I wont be saying that in about 10 weeks...) But it's such a special experience.

Everywhere I go, everything I do, I have a mini sidekick. I'm never alone. Just me and my boy. I can talk to him. I can feel his movements and SEE his little feet poking up through my skin. And his heartbeat increases when I talk or sing because he gets excited when he recognizes my voice. It's a bond that only us women can have. And I feel so lucky this responsibility is mine. (Husband is pretty jealous... he thinks that next time HE should get to be pregnant, hahah. Can you imagine? .................)

Anyway.... I can honestly say that I've never loved my body so much! I struggled a lot in high school with wanting to be skinny. I used to think things like, "If I only lost 10 more pounds, then I'll be happy." But even after losing the weight, I just became more obsessed with my body image. It was a vicious cycle and I wish I could go back and slap myself. I wish I could explain how shallow and stupid those thoughts are.

I wish I could have appreciated my body the way I do now. 

Being pregnant is such a perfect example of what our bodies are designed to do. All the crap in the media about sexy abs, plastic surgery, "fitspiration"... it all just seems so superficial and annoying and meaningless when you can look in the mirror and think:

My body is growing a living, breathing, moving, HUMAN today.

Wow.

My body is like an automatic machine that somehow knows exactly what to do, how to change, how to feed this baby (which is an exponentially multiplying parasite sucking all my nutrients, but yet my body knows not to destroy it, instead it allows these foreign cells to grow and thrive.)

I heard once that it is impossible for science to recreate a life support system that is equivalent to the human uterus and placenta. My body is literally an unparalleled miracle. How could anything be greater than that? 

Before I got pregnant, I used to worry about stretch marks and feared a saggy stomach that would never be attractive again. I used to hope that I would have a small belly and be one of those people who barely shows or gains any weight. 

But the funny thing is... those worries have completely disappeared. I LOVE my belly. I love emphasizing my belly. I love anything and everything that reminds me of the fact that I'm carrying a baby.

Strangely, for the first time in my life, I love seeing the numbers on the scale increase.

Because it means this baby boy is growing. And while yes, I'm growing too (& gaining more weight than I anticipated)... he is healthy! Is there anything else I could ask for?

Side thought: have you seen before and after pictures of pregnant women with large bellies? (Especially those carrying multiples.) How crazy is it that our skin is SO stretchy? One minute it's tight and thin, and a few months later, it stretches to GIANT proportions. The human body simply amazes me.

You may have seen this blog post, "Babies Ruin Bodies" floating around social media lately, and I agree with every word. She communicates all my thoughts and feelings so beautifully.  

Even after this baby is born, I promise to love the stretch marks and saggy skin and everything that comes along with it. It will just be a reminder of the amazing miracle of pregnancy that I was lucky enough to experience; part of the joy of creating a child and bringing him into this world. 

I just hope that all pregnant women understand how truly amazing they are. Despite the swelling, the stretching, the crazy hormones, the sickness, the pain (all the negative things that are so easy to focus on)... can you please just take a moment to appreciate the miracle of your body?

You are SO beautiful and magnificent.

And on those days when you may not feel like it... repeat these words to yourself:

"My body is only a vessel for my spirit. An incredible vessel. It is strong, well, abled, and undefeated. My body is full of life. My body is powerful. My body made me a mother."

- weseekjoy.blogspot.com