Calvin's Birth Story - Part 1

(FYI: this is mostly just the wordy part of Calvin's story. We're still waiting to get our photos back from our professional photographer so there will be more photos of the actual birth to come!)

But anyway... this is the story of Calvin's birth eviction. Because he was very much forced out of my womb, and he did not like it.

On his due date I was barely 1cm dilated and only 50% effaced, which basically means my body was not ready for labor any time soon. Since Cal was measuring almost TEN pounds, the doctor was a little worried. Big babies have a higher chance of being still born + other problems, along with an increased risk of emergency C-section. So following my doctor's recommendations, we scheduled an induction at Mount Carmel St. Ann's Hospital for Tuesday, April 22 at 10pm.

It all started with a pill to help ripen my cervix. And then the 24/7 monitoring began. All through the night they monitored Cal's heart rate and my uterus contractions. If I moved too much, or he moved too much, the monitor couldn't pick up his heart rate, which basically translates into a nurse coming to readjust the monitors every 15-20 minutes and one horrible night's sleep. Poor Husband was exhausted too. This childbirth stuff sure wears a man out ;)

By morning, I had progressed enough for the nurse to start the Pitocin! I had dilated to 3cm. I was glad the pill did it's job, but I had only heard horrible things about induction drugs, so I was terrified. I expected to go from a "0: Very Happy Face" to a "10: Hurts Real Bad Face" in a relatively short period of time...

But instead, I felt nothing. 

The monitor showed my uterus contracting but my body was not responding. I asked the nurse what it would feel like and she said it's similar to menstrual cramps. I told her that I've never really had menstrual cramps. She laughed and said, "Well maybe you just have a very high pain tolerance!" I wished this was true, but my instincts told me that if I was truly in labor, I would know it.

Hours went by and still nothing.

I bounced on that birthing ball nonstop. Then I switched to the rocking chair. Squatting on all fours. Leaning over the bed. Any position possible (that my monitors & IV would allow.) The only pain I felt was when the nurse with super short fingers came in to check my cervix. Holy $%&@#! Definitely a VERY painful 10. I almost asked for an epidural just so I didn't have to feel her all up in me.

The nurse kept asking me if I felt any contractions and when I said no, she cranked up the Pitocin again, and again, and again. It was maxed out to the point of needing the doctor's approval to continually increase the dosage.

Along with impatience and worry that I would never, ever dilate past 3cm... I was STARVING. Fasting for 15+ hours was quite the shock from my normal pregnant diet of eating/snacking every 2-3 hours. The ice chips, Popsicles, Jell-O, Jolly Ranchers and Trident Tropical Twist Gum just weren't cutting it. Add this extreme hunger and lack of sleep to moving my whale of a body in a million different positions... and holy cow, I was exhausted.

Since the Pitocin wasn't working and baby was still bobbing up and down in my belly, instead of descending, they decided to break my water. It was a little risky because there was a chance that the cord could start to come out before his head, which would mean an emergency C-section. But luckily that didn't happen and while the giant pointy needle freaked me out, it was painless. I was seriously surprised by how much water came out... but yet my belly was still the same size. So weird.

Then all of the sudden, the pain train arrived... Like a tornado tearing up my insides... Like those 10 years of menstrual cramps that I never had... all attacking me at once, with vengeance.

I gave the "Bradley Method" a shot... but all those natural breathing techniques just seemed like a joke. And "picturing contractions like a soft ocean wave floating over your body?".... bahahahahaha. I don't care how much practice you have. There is NO practice for that kind of torture. My body literally went into convulsions. Husband tried to help with massages, distractions, pep talks. He was a trooper. But even his good intentions made me want to punch him in the face.

After long hours of pain and suffering, the short-fingered nurse returned once again. I was positive I was at least 6 or 7cm. Wrong. I had only progressed HALF A CENTIMETER. One half. Point five. Basically she was just being nice and nothing had changed.

I. was. defeated.

This was the turning point. I threw ALL my natural childbirth desires out the window. I didn't even feel guilty as I asked the nurse for that epidural. Luckily, needles don't bother me. And honestly I don't even remember the pain of it. I was just SO happy to have it. I probably thanked God a hundred times for modern technology and medication.

The epidural was definitely a unique feeling. While there was no more pain from the contractions, I could still feel pressure in my legs and abdomen. I'd never experienced a sensation quite like it before. It wasn't the type of total numbness you get at the dentist. I actually loved it. And it was also the best decision I could have made.

Some people say they don't want an epidural because it makes them feel "out of it" or like they aren't truly experiencing the birth. Well, maybe it's just me, but I felt completely opposite! Looking back, the time from when my water broke through the painful contractions was a complete blur. I barely remember the things people said or what was happening. I felt like my body shut down and everything was a just a black and white, choppy whirlwind of pain and misery.

However, once that epidural kicked in, I was so relaxed, happy, and excited! It was such a relief. I felt like I was myself again... and I couldn't wait to meet my baby! I remember every detail vividly and with great joy. Not only was I feeling better emotionally, but physically my body started to progress at lightning speed! Some people also say that getting an epidural slows your labor down, but again, my experience was the exact opposite. The next time they checked me, I was dilated to 8cm!! I could hardly contain my happiness. Then less than an hour later, the nurse came back and informed me that it was almost time to push... I was FULLY dilated! She just wanted to wait a little while until she "saw his hair."

I pushed with the nurse for about 30 minutes. I remember her saying, "The doctor better hurry up, or she's going to miss the delivery!" Instead of pushing every contraction, we slowed it down and I just pushed every other one. Then the doctor arrived and after a few minutes of pushing, she asked me if I wanted to watch the birth. Of course, I said yes! She adjusted the mirror on the ceiling so I could see everything that was happening. After a few more minutes, she said, "On this next contraction, you're going to have a baby!" I only saw part of his head coming out, so I didn't quite believe her. But she was right! Even though it looked exactly like all the videos I'd watched on YouTube, it was so crazy watching it happen to my own body.

After 24 hours of labor and 40 minutes of pushing, Calvin Alan Curtis entered this world! First his big head popped out, then his body all at once. It was 12:40am on Thursday, April 24, 2014.

They were a little worried that he wouldn't cry due to all the fluids and stress... but our little boy let out a giant newborn scream!

I thought I would cry too, but my overwhelming emotions of joy, relief, pride and love were all expressed in shock and awe. All I could do was stare at him. It felt so surreal. I could hardly believe this squirmy, beautiful baby boy was mine! He had grown inside of me for 41 weeks and he was finally here, in my arms. All 9.38 pounds and 21.56 inches of him. He had long dark brown hair, dark grey eyes, and the cutest little red face. He was perfect.

A few minutes after birth, he started sucking his thumb. My heart melted. (Both Husband & I sucked our thumbs up until an embarrassing age in elementary school, so I guess it's in his genes!) He is the sweetest little chunk.

Overall, my birth experience wasn't anything like I expected.

I thought I would feel disappointed about the induction, or guilty for getting an epidural... but honestly, all I feel is gratitude. My baby boy is healthy! And I get to be his mom, forever. The story of how he got here doesn't seem to matter so much anymore.

Looking back on his birth brings me so. much. joy. I've never felt that much love so instantly, and all at once. As I watched my husband cradle Calvin in his arms, I thought my heart would burst. In that moment, I experienced happiness like I've never known. It's like the whole world stopped.

This little boy has become the center of my universe and I am forever changed.