I guess my life is a "mistake"... But is it?

Dear Preston,

I recently read your article: "the 20 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make In Your 20s".

I'm 25 years old, your target audience. You make some valid points and I agree with the majority of your list... we need to work hard, sacrifice, avoid the ever-so-popular "YOLO" attitude. We need to distinguish what we want vs need, create solutions, inspire & encourage others, avoid debt & immediate gratification, be a good person, etc.

However, as I was reading the article, I felt a strong need to address some of your so-called "mistakes."
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I'll start with mistake #19: "Thinking that this (your 20s) is the right time to fall in love." Wait what? I didn't realize you could choose when you fall in love. In my world, there is no magic age that applies to all people. Some fall in love in high school, some in college, others later on in life. I don't think any of those times are wrong because each situation is unique. You don't just wake up one day and say, everything on my bucket-list is checked off, now I think I'll fall in love today. It doesn't work that way. I'm not a believer of the "one true soul mate philosophy," but if you are choosing to be completely closed off to love, you may miss out on someone really special and amazing that would bring you a lifetime of happiness.
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You went on to say, "your 20s are entirely too crucial for your personal growth for you to be focusing on fulfilling the wishes of another individual." So... are you trying to say that once people fall in love, their personal growth comes to a halt?  Well this, I am sure, is 100% false. I learned more about myself in my first year of marriage than I probably would have in 10 years of single life. And my personal growth skyrocketed in just the first 3 months of motherhood when I learned more about myself than I ever could have in a lifetime alone. Just because you have someone else in your life, whether it's a partner or a child, it doesn't mean you stop growing. It's actually the opposite. They help you grow, as you help them. It's mutual, and challenging, and strengthening in ways you don't even realize until later on.
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But you didn't stop there. You said, "Not only does it make you complacent with where you are in life, but it makes you boring." .... I have to admit, this was mildly offensive to me. You can't make a blanket statement like this.  If you are complacent and boring, it's because you choose to be. It has nothing to do with your relationship status. Sure, this may apply to some couples, but honestly, I bet they were pretty complacent and boring when they were single too.
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You also advised, "Get out there, meet new people, test the limits and have fun. It will take you to the places you’ve only dreamed of going." Hmm... ok. Now that I'm married, I can't meet new people, or have fun, or go places? So... I guess that year my husband and I got jobs in Europe, rented an apartment from a stranger we found online, and then backpacked around 15 countries doesn't count as "fun" or "fulfilling my dreams" because I wasn't single. Since we fell in love at a young age, our lives are over. We should just regret the "big mistake" we made and sulk in the misery of our boring, complacent life...
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Don't get me wrong, I am not saying everyone should get married in their 20s. Some haven't met the right person or don't feel ready to get married. There's nothing wrong with that. But saying it's a mistake to get married, or even just fall in love in your 20s is just plain ridiculous. But since our opinions are so polar opposite, I guess we can agree to disagree on this one.

But as I continued reading, I sensed some contradiction. It was confusing. I had to check to make sure I was still on the same page and my phone hadn't somehow navigated to a new page.

You listed mistake #14 as "Forgetting that family comes first."  Amen. This is true. You should prioritize your family. But I'm not sure why family is important but not if you want to make a family of your own. And just so we're clear... parents, siblings and grandparents are OK, right? Just no spouses or children? But what if your siblings or parents are needy and take away precious time that must be spent on your "personal growth" journey? What if they are going through a trial and therefore aren't showering you with positive inspiring compliments all the time? Better cut them off... it's best for YOUR success. And your 20s are all about YOU. Right?

Wait a minute... then you said, "If you work for whom you love instead of just yourself, you will get far." But then a little bit later (under mistake #11) you said, "The road to success is not paved with having responsibilities of children and your future wife to be."

So which is it, Preston? Will a wife and kids inspire us to achieve more than we could on our own? Or will they be a giant roadblock on our golden paved road to success?

I think I know your answer. Family relationships are great, as long as they are low maintenance and require little of us. Because heaven forbid we make mistake #11. As you said, "The last scenario you could ever want is becoming like the rest of those miserable 40-somethings faced with weekends of minivans and soccer practice." 

I guess according to your standards, I'm weak. A failure. And don't have what it takes to "become a monumental success." It's too late for me. I'm destined to live a life of mediocrity.

But then again... you said, "You will soon realize, once you’ve made it, that making money doesn’t make you happy. It’s the journey." Well guess what, Preston? I learned that lesson a long time ago. My definition of success is fulfilling my dreams, with a loving man to support me and sweet children to adore. You're right. It is about the journey. And I'd rather not make mine alone.

Sincerely,

Natalie