When it comes to this marriage advice, I disagee.

Whenever I hear someone say this or I read it in a guest book at a wedding reception, I have to bite my tongue and restrain myself from scribbling it out. haha ok not really, but I definitely disagree with this:

"Whatever you do, never go to bed angry!"

I heard this SO MANY times before and after I got married and I hate it. Maybe we just go to bed too late, but seriously... who is reasonable, patient and understanding when you are exhausted and your body just wants to sleep? I know that I think and act completely differently when I'm tired, compared to when I've had a good night's rest.

To me, it's stupid to lay in bed arguing over something for hours, when it could be easily resolved in a pleasant ten minute conversation the next morning. From my experience, when we wake up in the morning, we forget why we were even mad last night. Then we can talk about the problem in a reasonable, loving way and figure out how to avoid it next time. And so on top of being more productive with our communication, we also get our beauty sleep. The nights we used to stay up late arguing, we never got anything resolved and the next morning we were still somewhat crabby and irritated because we were sleep deprived. Do you see the downward spiral?

The way I see it, we need to make sure our physiological needs are met first (ie. sleep, HUNGER, exercise, health, etc) before we start diving into the emotional issues. I am a completely different person when I'm hungry AND tired...it's just a bad combination. Depending on the degree of my hungry-tired-ness...I'm a brat, selfish and inconsiderate. I don't always realize it, but I think my selfishness is just a natural outward reaction to body's internal needs.

Luckily, we now know each other well enough to tell when we are not acting our "normal" selves. We try not to bring up issues, or let irritations affect us as much until after our basic needs (power nap, PB&J, Diet Coke) are met. This is why I am attempting to forever change the classic married advice of "never go to bed angry." [Side note: if you & your spouse can easily resolve conflict when your sleepy and it works for you then 1. I admire you and 2. please, continue doing so!] Anyways, not that I'm an expert, but if this post does resonate with you, or you think it makes sense, then please take this advice:

"Never argue or try to solve a problem when you are really hungry, tired, or feeling ill. Take a break. Meet your physiological needs first & you will be infinitely more effective, resolve issues quicker and be more patient, understanding and loving."
- Dr. Natalie