Let's be honest...

Aside from the fact that I'm way behind on a lot of posts I've wanted to write (for a good reason, which actually deserves it's very own post)...tonight I feel like being honest.

I've been married for 2 years and 9 months, which to me feels like veteran status. (Old people: feel free to laugh at me). But this is no newly wed home...honestly, some days my husband drives. me. nuts. I feel: infuriated, disgusted, disappointed, shocked. I assume other people feel this way, but tend not to blog to the world about it. (I secretly hope other people feel this way, so that makes me more normal).

Sparing you the details... some days (like today) I think, "if you were my boyfriend, I would so break up with you right now." But that's the thing about marriage, you're stuck with each other, forever. You get mad and have bad days and sometimes you just can't stand each other. (Believe me, I know I drive him crazy too.)

But that's the beautiful part about it. You can get mad at each other and be yourself and let it all out. You don't have to pretend everything is perfect but secretly be upset. You are both human. You are not the same person, so disagreements will happen. It's normal. You both make mistakes. And sometimes you don't understand each other. Some things you may never completely understand.

But eventually, you both realize that maybe you shouldn't have raised your voice, maybe you shouldn't have assumed or jumped to conclusions. Maybe you should have just taken a few deep breaths and relaxed before venting.

So you spend awhile thinking (and if you're me, you are a dweller) and then you figure out a way to fix things. You know there's a compromise, and you may need to sacrifice, but you want to. You want him to be happy, you don't want to keep dwelling, you just want a solution.

Sometimes it's an apology or talking about the situation in a normal voice, like grown ups, or cooking him his favorite dessert, or maybe you just need a big (bear hug) squeeze and kiss on the forehead...or some days you come home and find this waiting for you on the computer:

Then everything changes. The dramatic tantrum you threw this morning seems a little crazy, the "I can't believe he ______" was probably overreacting and things have a new perspective. You are married. You love each other. And that's more powerful, most important and it gives you a reason to smile and work things out. You know life isn't always a perfect, happily ever after fairytale, but you also know that whatever comes your way, you'll get through it. You enjoy your life, despite the bad moments, because you know that things will get better and you know someone loves you, all of you, the good, the bad and even the imperfections.

This is the feeling that makes it all worthwhile.